As our chapters are written
beginning to end
you should know
that when one comes to a close
there is a pen eager to write another
some may be comedies
and others dramas but tragedy
never has showed us plight
harsh words can be exchanged
from time to time
but hearts never callus
lows and highs
are what comes with life
they are like seasons
they always end
and usher another one in
Today as I arduously sifted through a mound of clothes trying to organize my space
I was watching the movie “Grosse Point Blank” (I think that was the name), but basically in a nut shell it is a movie about a hit man who after many years of getting paid to off people has realized,because of his therapist, he is not content with living his life looking over his shoulder worrying about about taking a bullet to the back of the head.
He ends up going a back to his home town to attend his 10 year high school reunion. While driving through his home town he hears his high school sweet heart djing a radio show. So he looks her up.
Blah Blah Blah. Love is not the topic I want to talk about here. It is deeper than that, it is about something within every one.
After this man has killed for so long, he now has a distaste for it.
He finds out the man he was supposed to snuff was none other than his high school sweetheart’s father. Because he is is faced with his sudden disdain for his job and his reconnection with the girl he left years ago. He is presented with two scenarios 1) let the man be killed and join a union of hit-men or 2) fight against other hit-men to save some one else while in the process putting his life on the line.
Now for the real meat and potatoes. This man is characterized as an archetype “bad guy” (hit-men are not usually considered to be your Ned Flanders type neighbors). You are presented with this violent and unlikable character at first, but then as you dig deeper into the plot you realize that things are not as black and white as you thought. Life is crazy and most of the time it’s more grey than black or white. He was in a complicated situation and through his actions he showed the audience that he had redeeming qualities.
Every one has them deep down, no one is born evil. It’s all about choices, listen to your heart or your brain. What really defines your character is your decision on which of those two you base your actions on.
You repay my love
with shots of black venom
yet I come to the bar
night after night
until I lay
drunk and numb
self medicating
with a poisonous cure?
Alas I know it
will do me no good
I am not the fool
you take me for
Humbly I stack the glasses
constructing a magnificent
tower from which
I would gladly jump from
Drunk am I now
and clouded is my mind
forgive me…
For I must stumble home,
pass out,
and suspend myself in slumber
if I am going to see
you tomorrow
If you could see me now
what type of man
would you say I am
If you were still here
what other things about
life would you teach me
you were so generous
and kind
you gave never
asking for anyting in return
your silent miracles
went without praise
they went noticed
but today I thank you
for always being the man
I soon hope to be
If you could see me now
what would you think of me?
When I really think about, we are the ones who ultimately decided if we have a good or bad day. Yeah things may go wrong and things might happen, but if you truely look at what you have and realize that you havemore than most. This reationalization is both humbling and sobering. For example I HATE absotulely hate getting up early, yeah I am not a morning fan at all, but when I put this idea into practice that I am blessed enough, keyword ENOUGH, not less or more just enough. I have enough and you know what sometimes I envy others and it’s hard not to. I’m not saying that I am holier than thou because I am by no stretch of the imagination, I am just as screwed up as the next guy and I have my meltdowns. But seriously I can say that since I have looked at “my life” and “my stuff” in this way I have realize how blessed I actually am and you know what I feel truly content for the first time, besides when I was a kid and I peed in pools and no one knew. There is a definite change in the way I see things and how I react to things ; I can’t really explain it but it’s amazing I am not stresses I fell like a Red Hot Chili Pepper song I am just cruising a wicked bass line. I hope that others can realize what they have is a blessing and what they want is not necessarily a necessity. Just remember each day is a blessing and whether you think it’s good or bad is entirely up to your prospective of it. If you look at you feet when you walk you’re bound to run into a wall at sometime.
Fire fighter
drown past agonies
turing them into
water logged
cinders
Things that once seared are now cool
to the touch
As time time travels
all things heal
Dreams and realities
birth now
no tears flee
Because today is the day
that you freed me
no longer shakled
or in bonage to myself
It’s been awhile
but we still have time
we still have time…
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